365 Days of Star Wars

Day 122 of 365: Han Fuckin' Solo

2010-06-25T14:02:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I left for over a year. I never said that this was going to be a 365 days in a row thing. Oh, I did? My bad.

Anyway, this is Han Solo. He is better than you. In fact, he is better than everything. And yes, that includes candy and when it rains magic.

Day 121 of 365: Leesub Sirlin

2009-05-13T13:10:00.001-07:00

Leesub Sirln was a Force-sensitive Qiraash who demonstrated limited powers of precognition. She was enslaved as a child before being discovered by High Inquisitor Antinnis Tremayne, who selected her as a Force adept. She escaped Tremayne and hid in Mos Eisley on the planet Tatooine, where she was seen lurking in Chalmun's Cantina in 0 BBY.

Days 115-120 of 365: The Modal Nodes

2009-05-11T17:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the "delay" but would you really care all of these guys separately. I figured I would lump 6 days together in the common interest of not seeing basically the same guy over and over again. Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes were an all-Bith music band, specializing in the fields of Jizz (hehe) and Jatz (not as funny). The membership roster of the band alternated over the years, adding and subtracting members whenever the situation called for it. They persistently maintained at least five permanent performers at any one time and sometimes as many as seven. The known members of the Modal Nodes included:

Figrin D'an (kloo horn, gasan string drum, drawn earlier, not pictured here)
Doikk Na'ts (Dorenian Beshniquel)
Ickabel G'ont (fanfar)
Tedn Dahai (fanfar)
Tech Mo'r (ommni box)
Nalan Cheel (bandfill)
Lirin Car'n (kloo horn)

I have no idea which are which in this picture. They all look alike. Like Asians... I mean, I am not a racist. Whoops.

Oh, this covers me for tomorrow too.

Day 114 of 365: Rycar Ryjerd

2009-05-06T20:56:00.000-07:00

Rycar was known on set as the "Flash Gordon Midget".

Day 113 of 365: Takeel

2009-05-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

Takeel was a Snivvian mercenary and burned-out spice addict who frequented Chalmun's Cantina, looking for employment. He was also known by the nickname "Hunchback".
Sorry, folks, there is going to be a lot of these types of characters in a row. I have a lot of days to fill and these characters are how I am going to fill it. . . with "spice addicts".

Day 112 of 365: George Lucas

2009-05-05T11:14:00.000-07:00

As much as I bash this man for the recent follies, I still think he is an amazing man who had an amazing vision. Happy Star Wars Day, George.

Note: I hit save instead of publish so here is yesterday's post a day late.

Happy Star Wars Day

2009-05-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

May the 4th be with you! Get it? Its clever. I am honoring this special day by giving you a taste of some of the best Star Wars art that is not mine.

Hugh Fleming:

Ashley Wood:

and last but not least Brandon Bird:

See you with my update ASAP.

Day 111 of 365: Chewbacca

2009-05-03T18:34:00.001-07:00

Chewbacca. What else can I say?

Day 110 of 365: Nabrun Leids

2009-05-03T17:42:00.000-07:00

Super phoned in. Maybe the next one will be awesome.

Day 109 of 365: Djas Puhr

2009-05-03T17:38:00.001-07:00

I did one of this fellow in ink but it ended up as the Alderaan drawing. It just got too dark. So here is a pencil version.

Day 108 of 365: Alderaan

2009-05-03T15:25:00.000-07:00

Get it?

Day 107 of 365: Anakin Skywalker

2009-04-29T11:24:00.001-07:00

Anakin Skywalker will be the last of my Clone Wars characters. Now that I am caught up, I will be focusing on the original trilogy again.

I tried to remove the "pissy" from him in this drawing but it is just so hard to do without shoving a mask on his face. I changed facial features and added thick linework but the pissiness remained.

On that note, I am up to date and tomorrows drawing will be a phoned in mess because of it. Enjoy.

Day 106 of 365: R2-D2

2009-04-29T11:22:00.001-07:00

To counteract the bee in my bonnet that Dooku placed, here is R2-D2. The character no one can possible dislike because what's not to like? Trashcan that makes weird noises? Sign me up.

Day 105 of 365: Count Dooku

2009-04-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

I fucking hate Count Dooku. Not in the way that you are supposed to hate a villain, in the kick ass Vader, Boba Fett, Greedo, Emperor, IG-88 way, but in the way that I hate chapped lips or Sean Hannity. He is just so damned boring.

Day 104 of 365: Shahan Alama

2009-04-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Shahan Alama was a male Weequay bounty hunter active during the Clone Wars. He teamed up with Cad Bane and Aurra Sing during the Senate hostage crisis.

Day 103 of 365: Turk Falso

2009-04-29T11:10:00.001-07:00

I only drew Turk Falso because his name is Turk Falso and I have a thing for characters with silly names. See Bib Fortuna and Kit Fisto for other examples of this.

Day 102 of 365: Plo Koon

2009-04-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

Day 101 of 365: CC-2224 (Commander Cody)

2009-04-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

He sucks.

Day 100 of 365: Grevious

2009-04-28T21:04:00.001-07:00

Dear George Lucas,

Thank you for making a television show so I could see more of this character that kicked so much ass in the Clone Wars animated series from 2003 but then you made a giant disappointment in that movie where Hayden Christensen plays a mass murderer and Samuel L Jackson melts some old guy's face. It has given me a chance to see more of a great villain who died too early. I guess you learned from past mistakes such as killing off the best part of Phantom Shit leaving me enraged and not at all excited too see the next one. That was until I saw previews of Jango Fett. Then I was back to being interested again. Then you killed him too and you can pretty much guess what my response was. For the third one I knew this fellow was going to die. You weren't creative enough to find a way to let him live without fucking up continuity but I figured I was in for a show. Sadly the whole time he ran away from danger and coughed a lot. This was pretty confusing seeing as how he was constantly killing Jedi in the cartoon and collecting their lightsabers. But no, a blast to the chest kills him and I wasn't even given a thrilling battle. Just Obi Wan riding a mop dinosaur and Grevious being a coward suffering from Tuberculoses.

But now I have a second chance to see Grevious in action. He is not as kick ass as he was in the 2003 cartoon, but I understand you are old and set in your ways, unwilling to heed anyone's advice even though everyone in the entire world thinks most of the shit you come up with now is insane. Of course, not having one of the most menacing looking characters of all time being a cowardly asthmatic is a good idea. Everyone thinks its lame but you know best, isn't that right George. Maybe just a bit got through and you allowed the writers of The Clone Wars to make Grevious less of a pussy, but thats the limit that you are willing to go. You can only offer small concessions such as having Han and Greedo shoot at the same time or not replacing Mark Hamill with a CGI version of mark Hamill in the newest "special edition" or making Revenge of the Sith suck just a tad less than Attack of the Clones.

As much as I love you, George, sometimes I fucking hate you.

Love,

Ian

That is it for today, folks. I will be bringing us up to speed totally tomorrow. I figured I would like to end on a high(ish) note.

Day 99 of 365: Lok Durd

2009-04-28T21:02:00.000-07:00

More like Lok Turd.

I'm sorry.

Day 98 of 365: Nute Gunray

2009-04-28T20:51:00.000-07:00

This is my first drawing where i only used markers. I think it turned out okay. Also, I remember earlier i stated that I wouldn't draw anyone from the new movies because I think the new ones are made of barf and anger. Since I have gotten into the new TV show I will lift that ban as long as the characters were in the Clone Wars series. See this dick for an example of that ban being lifted.

Day 97 of 365: Aurra Sing

2009-04-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

Well, folks, I just realized that I am going to run out of pages in my sketch book before I get to 106. At least I think i will. My counting abilities are not too good due to my fear of vampires. --If you get my reference it is clear we are meant to be friends. Anyway, if I do not catch up today, I will tomorrow since my job tomorrow consists of sitting for 10 hours and I can buy a new sketch book.

Aurra Sing is deadly.

Day 96 of 365: Stan the Jawa

2009-04-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

I find Stan to be adorable.

Day 95 of 365: Cad Bane

2009-04-28T19:16:00.000-07:00

Cad Bane is a shit pile of awesomeness. This stems from the fact that his character was modeled after Lee Van Cleef in his gritty, non-Master Ninja, roles and one of my favorite movies of all time is The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. He is almost better than Van Cleef because Lee didn't have tubes coming out of his face.

Day 94 of 365: Aayla Secura

2009-04-28T19:07:00.000-07:00

The fact that Aayla is of the same race as Bib Fortuna seems kind of astounding. That is, until you realize that james Carville is the same race as Sherilyn Fenn.

I know using Sherilyn Fenn as an example of beauty may seem a little dated but I seriously cannot think of a more beautiful woman. And yes, I am aware that this will probably piss off my wife.

Day 93 of 365: Luminara Unduli

2009-04-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

The woman who plays Luminara is a pretty common fixture at comic book conventions. He line is very small. That was not meant to be an insult to her but about the greatness of Lou Ferrigno. People just don't have time to see them both, so of course they pick the asshole who won't even look at you unless you pay him 20 bucks while his fat wife tries to hustle you into buying some cheap snapshot of the deaf prick covered in green make-up. All you wanted was a quick picture with the guy, but no 20 bucks for that too. At least the guy who played Ralph Malph shot the shit with me before he turned down my request for a picture. Damn, I hate Lou Ferrigno.

Day 92 of 365: IG-100 MagnaGuard

2009-04-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

More Clone Wars fellows. The IG-100 MagnaGuard, or Self-Motivating Heuristically Programmed Combat Droid, was an advanced type of battle droid that was manufactured by Holowan Mechanicals and used by the Confederacy of Independent Systems during the Clone Wars. Ordered by Count Dooku, the MagnaGuards were designed to be General Grievous's personal bodyguards, although they were sometimes seen serving Dooku himself.

I drew this one with a hood thing and a scarf/cape thing because the picture I found had thiese things wearing them. However subsequent trips to wookieepedia.org have provided pictures of noncloaked MagnaGuards. This make my joke about robots wearing hoods moot.

Day 91 of 365: Ziro

2009-04-28T18:48:00.001-07:00

Ziro is Jabba's uncle and was featured in the Clone wars series in what was one of the most wonderful Star Wars stories ever. He is pretty much what a fart would look like if a fart became solid and sentient.

Day 90 of 365: Nebit

2009-04-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I did not really intend to make this Nebit but since there are so few Jawas of note, it turned into Nebit.
I will let wookieepedia explain Nebit:
Nebit's tribe captured droids for trading, and his sandcrawler boasted a large stock of varied makes and models at the time they carried the droids C-3PO and R2-D2, who were fugitives from the Empire. His tribe sold the droid counterparts to Owen Lars, the uncle of Luke Skywalker, future Rebel Alliance hero and Jedi Knight. While negotiating with Lars, Nebit adopted a Jawa "business dialect".

Isn't the shit they write hilarious?

Day 89 of 365: Wat Tambor

2009-04-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

According to my math, today should be day 106 of 365. I am going to see if I can get caught up by midnight tonight. I bet you I can since I made a ton of drawings today.

First, here is Wat Tambour. He is a character I was super excited to draw but then I drew him and he came out slightly retarded looking. I am putting him at the beginning where I will be putting all the lesser drawings, saving the great ones for the top. Wat Tambor's appeal seems to be limited to his character design and I base that solely on the fact that I could not get through the introductory paragraph on wookieepedia.org. There was mention of a techno union or something but the rest read like something out of a U.N. briefing.

On to the next one!

Day 87 of 365: Ahsoka Tano

2009-04-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

Ahsoka Tano is, in my opinion, the weak spot in the Clone Wars series. Her character design is off putting and her voice actor makes her sound far too vapid for a Jedi apprentice. She seems like the cliche tv character whose whole purpose is to roll their eyes and say "Here we go again." whenever the far better character is doing something awesome involving alligators or dynamite. Plus she is a floating head which is just weird. Just kidding, I did that because I have trouble drawing spindly arms and shoulders.
On an off note, what do hairless padawans grow out instead of a (lame)braid? If you saw the first Clone Wars cartoon, volume two, you would see that the cutting off of the (stupid)braid was a main part of the crazy "you're a Jedi" ceremony. It was like a hair circumcision minus the super horror of the penis variety circumcision.

Day 86 of 365: Asajj Ventress

2009-04-26T22:01:00.000-07:00

How many days have I missed total? Can someone do the math for me so I can get my shit caught up? If you do I will grant you a wish just as long as your wish is for me to never punch you in the head. Do we got a deal?

This fine lady is Asajj Ventress. She is from the Clone Wars animated series. Both of them actually. While kind of sucking and being way too snake like in the first series, she has become far more awesome in the new series. Speaking of awesome, the Clone Wars series on Cartoon Network is awesome. It just shows what people can do with Star Wars as long as George Lucas keeps away from writing or directing.

Day 85 of 365: Iasa

2009-04-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

Iasa was a Jawa. When Luke Skywalker arrived at Chalmun's Cantina with Ben Kenobi, R2-D2 and C-3PO in 0 BBY, Iasa approached Luke Skywalker's X-34 landspeeder but was shooed away by the young Skywalker. This riviting scene set up the often quoted "I can't abide those Jawas! Disgusting creatures!"

C-3PO is a racist.

Day 84 of 365: Dash Rendar

2009-04-22T12:10:00.000-07:00

This is just a drawing of my friend Jake. As far as I know Dash Rendar could look like this when he lets his 5 o'clock shadow turn into a full beard and he stops trimming his hair. Either way, I am saying this is Dash Rendar.

Day 84 of 365: Luke's Lightsaber that I painted in college

2009-04-20T15:43:00.001-07:00

Many thanks to my mother, who took the time to take a picture of this so I didn't have to do a drawing today. You see, I have arthritis, which is the worst thing for an artist to have and certain days its pretty damn painful to do a drawing. This week has been one of those days.

Day 83 of 365: Datcha

2009-04-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

This is the guy (guy?) who shot R2D2 at the beginning of New Hope when Artoo was wandering through the desert. If it wasn't for this fellow, Luke would have never been hooked up with Old Ben. At least not in a way that would be appealing to movie goers.

Day 82 of 365: Kit Fisto

2009-04-18T20:00:00.000-07:00

Kit Fisto is great. Actually he was great even before I knew who he was. Why is this? Because his name is Kit Fisto. This name falls into the awesome category of Star Wars names. It is up there with Pote Snitkin, Lobot, Salacious B Crumb and Lando in terms of its awesomeness.

Day 81 of 365: "New" Obi-Wan

2009-04-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

Day 80 of 365: Obi-Wan Kenobi

2009-04-16T16:24:00.001-07:00

I got the scanner to work! It only took entirely too long. I hate technology.

Day 79 of 365: Dianoga

2009-04-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

I feel a major character coming on. Suggest one, not Vader, and it will be drawn.

Edit: Not Han either. That will be done for a friend's birthday. Jake, when is your birthday? June right?

Day 78 of 365: Viper probe droid (Probot)

2009-04-07T18:21:00.001-07:00

Why would it be saying Dagobah System?

Day 77 of 365: Ghoel

2009-04-06T20:06:00.000-07:00

Jabba's pet thing that would lick people. Its like a slug with a tongue.

Again, more filler characters.

So who do you guys want to see? Let me know, I will draw them. Try to stay away from the Hans, Lukes, Vaders, etc as I need some treats as time goes on. Also, try to stay within the original trilogy as most characters from the new trilogy fill me with rage.

-Ian

Day 76 of 365: Chachi De Maal

2009-04-05T17:02:00.000-07:00

Scott Baio she isn't.

Day 75 of 365: Figrin D'an

2009-04-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

I believe this is who Andrew meant by "weird flute guy".

Day 74 of 365: Hrchek Kal Fas

2009-04-03T05:15:00.001-07:00

Day 73 of 365: Sai'torr Kal Fas

2009-04-03T05:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's late.

Day 72 of 365: April Fools?

2009-04-01T14:55:00.000-07:00

To answer the two word question I posed in the subject: Sort of.

You see, Bea Arthur is worthy of being drawn and place on this blog as an April Fool's joke but this is not a complete "fool". Bea Arthur actually was in a Star Wars related... well... "special"

See @ 1:27:

She plays Ackmena. She was a favorite personage of the regular patrons there. Unlike Wuher, the dayshift bartender, Ackmena's friendliness and open personality livened the atmosphere of the room immensely. She would routinely lend money to needy patrons and offer free drinks on special occasions. Assisting her at the bar was a diminutive female barmaid (name unknown), and a tall, blue-faced bouncer named Tork.

Happy April Fool's Day, Assholes.

Day 71 of 365: Swilla Corey

2009-03-31T18:47:00.000-07:00

Another crappy sub character that I am using to stretch this thing to 365 days. This may be my worst drawing as I did it in the bathroom at work on three separate trips and used no reference. I need my references because I lost my imagination in a devil based violin contest.

Swilla Corey was a female Human jerba tender and pickpocket who lived on Tatooine. Born a slave, she was liberated by raiding Karazak slavers while her master was visiting Tatooine. She decided to make a new life for herself on the desert planet, and continued doing what she had done as a slave: tended to animals. She found limited amounts of work at local ranches, and was able to make ends meet.

Holy christ, that was a boring summary. Here is a revised version I made to counteract that awfulness:

Swilla Corey was a female Human dinosaur and pickpocket who raised ghosts on Tatooine. Born a rocket ship captain, she was liberated by raiding sexy Karazak slavers while her penis monster was visiting a volcano that spews beer. She decided to make a new robot lover for herself on the desert planet, and continued doing what she had done as a slave: tended to fireworks and liquids that can melt steel. She found limited amounts of work at local ranches, and was able to make a pizza made of wishes.

Day 70 of 365: Wioslea

2009-03-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

Since I provided a Yoda yesterday I figured I would follow him up with a crap character. That character is Wioslea.

Now, I think I can understand where the designer was coming from on this one, I really do. In his head he saw a bunch of eyes on a creepy alien head, probably a very menacing look on its face. The alien would be a force to be reckoned with, able to see all around it. It would have tentacles atop its head to add to its strange and menacing appearance. Yeah, a lot of eyes, how could it go wrong?

Sadly it went horribly horribly wrong and we got a character that is the equivalent of a pin cushion with googly eyes glued to it. A mildly retarded insect(?) with some sort of blanket mouth who Luke pawned his speeder to. Can't win 'em all I guess.

Day 69 of 365: Yoda

2009-03-29T19:10:00.000-07:00

Thanks for being patient during my hiatus. As a reward for your patience I drew Yoda. I hope you enjoy Yoda and do not take Yoda for granted.

The week off helped, I am feeling far less burned out.

On an off note:
Those of you living in the Portland area, stop by the Gold Dust Meridian during the month of April. They are displaying some new paintings by me. This Friday is the opening. If you stop in then I will be the drunk guy talking about how shitty the art is.

Bye.

Ian

Day 68 of 365: Tusken Raider Child

2009-03-21T09:05:00.000-07:00

Move over Ronald McDonald, the Tusken Raider Child has replaced you at number ten of my all time creepiest things list.

What are numbers 9-1? I am glad I asked.

9. Fish with see-through head.

8. Crazy big arm guy. There is a video on youtube of this guy draining the infected site on his arm where he injected steroids for years. I would have posted that but I don't want to force you to vomit.

7. Ghosts

6. Mick Mars. Kick start my heart... with fright!

5. Sweetums the Muppet. Sweetums and I do not get along.

4(tie). Old Lady Horn Head and lampreys.

3. Klansmen outfits. The KKK used to be scarier but now it seems like their activities are limited to name calling and inbreeding. They were always a lot of pathetic cowards, its just that now the pathetic level is up there with wet dogs and Uncle Ritchie's apologies after a night of boozing.
The outfits remain extremely creepy.

2. That circle part on an iguana's neck/head. Never bring an iguana near me if you want it to live. However, if you want it to be killed with a blunt object while I yelp girlishly, bring it on over.

1. The fact that these are all men.

Day 67 iof 365: Female Tusken Raider

2009-03-20T14:25:00.000-07:00

I'd "raider". Am I right fellas? No?

Day 66 of 365: Jerjerrod

2009-03-19T09:18:00.000-07:00

Following the strangulation by Vader of a string of commanders/admirals/captains/whatever, George Lucas decided to phone in the role of green capped sissy in ROTJ and came up with Jerjerrod. This guy is not even worth much of a back story on wookieepedia.org and is most famous for crapping himself when he finds out the Emperor would be visiting the new Death Star.

Day 65 of 365: Lorth Needa

2009-03-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

"I shall assume full responsibility for losing them, and apologize to Lord Vader."
―Needa

Ha ha ha ha, Needa, you dumb shit.

Day 64 of 365: A Jawa my wife drew until I upload a dewback

2009-03-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

Here is the dewback I promised.

So I had a drawing of a dewback completed for today but my back went out and I did not go into work where the scanner I use is located. What I do have is a drawing of a Jawa my wife did last night. I figured I had to do post something so that you did not think I have quit this blog as I so desperately want.

Please note that this is probably the only drawing I have ever seen my wife make so in that regards it is not too horrible. Also note that I made my wife from a mannequin and a wish so the fact that she can draw at all is downright astounding.

Day 63 of 365: Tauntaun

2009-03-16T17:30:00.000-07:00

This is a tauntaun. They smell bad outside and in. They are a lot like Jeremy in this respect because Jeremy is poor and doesn't bathe very often. Often times Jeremy will fall down a well as a cry for attention but people end up thinking it is a goat or ewe because Jeremy doesn't know how to talk, only make a goat/ewe type bellow.

Jeremy's insides smell bad because of the doctors. Not the good doctors that cured his sores but the bad ones who hook him up to cords and stuff his insides with garbage. "We are smart for doing this!" the doctors often exclaim as another empty mustard container goes into Jeremy's mouth. Jeremy is lucky when they use the mouth.

One day Jeremy will grow up to be a cashier at the local grocery mart, promoted from stock boy after just 7 months. On weekends he would volunteer at the museum, opening and closing the manual elevator door for the elderly patrons. The smell would bother them but they would take pity on him after looking into his compassionate eyes and smile through their momentary discomfort.

One day after a shift at the museum a man will cut Jeremy open with a lightsaber and sleep inside him for warmth. I guess he is like a tauntaun in that respect as well.

Day 62 of 365: Bren Derlin

2009-03-15T18:02:00.001-07:00

It is hard for me to picture John Ratzenberger as anyone other than Cliff from Cheers, but here he is in Star Wars as Bren Derlin, an officer in the Rebel Alliance and New Republic, and the son of Senator Galen Derlin. Not only was he in it, he has a famous scene where he informs Princess Leia Organa that the base's shield doors had to be closed for the night. What is funny is he is probably the only actor in a Star Wars movie to be typecast as a character other than the one he played in Star Wars.

The drawing came out far less Ratzenbergerish than I had hoped.

Day 61 of 365: Kendal Ozzel

2009-03-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

Take one part clumsy and mix with one part stupid and here you get Kendal Ozzel. A man who obviously used his, um, let's go with "sex appeal" to rise to the rank of admiral. He then the tried to surprise some guys on Hoth and got choked through a television monitor in what is probably the coolest display of the power of the force. He had very unfortunate skin.

Day 60 of 365: Biggs Darklighter

2009-03-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

Biggs begins my series of mustachioed characters from the Star Wars series. Sundays will be very special, mainly for Josh as he will get to keep the drawing. Can anyone guess who it is?

Day 59 of 365: 2-1B

2009-03-12T14:27:00.000-07:00

Microphone mouth.

Day 58 of 365: AT-ST (plus tiny Chewbacca)

2009-03-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

A Wookie driving an AT-ST is the greatest thing ever. It is even better than winning the Camaro lottery, which is exactly what it sounds like and exists only in my head.

Day 57 of 365: AT-AT

2009-03-10T19:19:00.000-07:00

Quickest drawing yet! I did this in a little over 11 minutes and I must say it turned out, well, alright I guess.

AT-ATs may be the greatest way to travel while also upstaging Hannibal. Do you get it? Because he had elephants... These are modeled after elephants... Am I stretching here?

Does anyone still read this anymore?

Day 56 of 365: Admiral Ackbar

2009-03-08T20:51:00.000-07:00

Mon Calamari! Get it? Lucas, you clever bird.

Day 55 of 365: Boussh

2009-03-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

I really really hate when we move the clocks forward. Here I come work, an hour earlier than feels right. Why not just leave them. No spring forward or fall back. Let 8am be 8am.

Boussh is a bounty hunter. Leia dressed like him.

Day 54 of 365: Klaatu

2009-03-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Skiff driver.

Day 53 of 365: Firmus Piett

2009-03-07T06:33:00.000-08:00

Poor Firmus. When he took over command you could see it in his face that he didn't want the position. He was probably just a lowly deck hand a few months before and Vader just strangled every superior he had.

Just look at his face. He knows whats coming next.

Day 52 of 365: Conan Antonio Motti

2009-03-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

Motti is the reason that no matter how silly I think a religion is, I will never criticize it. He taught me that there is always a chance that it is real and that a member of the religion may possess the ability to choke you with it.

He is also named after Conan O'Brien.

Day 51 of 365: Stormtrooper

2009-03-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

I watched New Hope and Empire with friends the other night and was amazed at how during New Hope the quality of the Stormtroopers shooting went down. I know this is a played out topic amongst Star Wars fans but seriously, they were nailing people in the beginning. The tagged Leia as she was running away but when she was standing, fucking standing, in front of them, they became shot retarded. What gives? Do they just surround Vader with the crack shots and let all the losers meander around the Death Star shooting constantly 3 feet to the left or right of the target? Someone explain this to me. Oh, and don't say "the force" because that won't cut it.

Day 50 of 365: Jek Tono Porkins

2009-03-02T23:31:00.000-08:00

I told you the 50th post would be special. Jek Porkins level special. Okay, if anyone has a restaurant you need to put Jek Porkins special on the menu right now.

I shouldn't have to explain to you why Jek Porkins is special. Just read the quotes related to Porkins I found on the Jek Porkins Wookiepedia page and you will understand:

Wedge Antilles: "That's a good-sized pot."
Biggs Darklighter: "And he won a lot of credits, too."
―Wedge Antilles and Biggs Darklighter, after losing to Porkins at sabacc

Jek Porkins: "I've got a problem here."
Biggs Darklighter: "Eject."
Jek Porkins: "I can hold it."
Biggs Darklighter: "Pull up!"
Jek Porkins: "No, I'm all—Aah!"
— The death of Jek Porkins

"So long, Piggy. You will be avenged!"
―Biggs Darklighter's thoughts on the death of Porkins

See, he was good at sabacc and then he died and then Biggs lied about avenging him because Biggs died about a minute later. Special.

Day 49 of 365: Saelt-Marae

2009-03-02T23:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I had to counteract that cuteness.

Saelt-Marae, known by many as Yak Face, was a long-lived Yarkora confidence trickster and information broker who lived for several centuries during the waning days of the Old Republic and the reign of Emperor Palpatine. Marae kept details surrounding himself secret, so little was known about his early life. He spent two hundred years courting his chosen mate, and she later bore at least one child of Marae's. Eventually he left her to continue in his life of crime, which was common among the Yarkora people.

Although not too great as a character (ugly, stupid, wastes centuries at a time), his action figure is worth a shit ton of money. I think it is made out of diamonds or something like that.

And that is it for the back tracking. See you tomorrow with my 50th post! It will be special.

Day 48 of 365: Wokling

2009-03-02T23:04:00.000-08:00

I just punched you with cuteness.

Day 47 of 365: Teebo

2009-03-02T22:54:00.000-08:00

Teebo is one of those rare, non-cute Ewoks. To counteract this, Teebo killed some sort of dragon and wears its head on his head. This tactic works wonders for homely people as a deterrent against jokes at the expense of their looks. Shelly Duvall, for instance, is known to tear anacondas in half and wear them around her neck.

I prefer to go the opposite way and use ultra cute accessories. An example of this would be my dead kitten pants. They look like they are sleeping. Awwww.

Oh yeah, I finished with the bad drawings now. I am fond of this one.

Day 46 of 365: Lumat

2009-03-02T22:50:00.001-08:00

I liked this guys face and only used one pen. The only reason this guy is known better than other Ewoks is that an action figure was made of him but it wasn't him, it was a different, brown Ewok. I would link you the story but it says just what I said only longer and if I wanted to waste your time... I would make a blog about Star Wars...

I just got sad.

Day 45 of 365: Wicket Wystri Warrick

2009-03-02T22:45:00.001-08:00

Actually, some of these make up drawings are alright. Especially the Ewok ones I did in different styles.
Wicket is one of these. Wicket Wystri Warrick was an Ewok scout, warrior, and later ruler of Bright Tree Village on the forest moon of Endor. The great-grandson of Erpham Warrick, Wicket was the third son of Deej and Shodu Warrick, following Weechee and Willy, and was the older brother of Winda. None of that description was meant to be cute but somehow it managed to turn super cute toward the end.

Day 44 of 365: Zuckuss

2009-03-02T22:43:00.000-08:00

This is the first of the 6 make up drawings I did to fill in those days. They will all be posted at once because most of them are not too good. See Zuckuss for an example of this.

Day 43 of 365: Shasha Tiel

2009-03-01T18:54:00.001-08:00

Here is the conversation between the designer of Shasha Tiel and George Lucas. I swear to you this is real and not something I made up just for the hell of it because I am super bored:

Designer: George, I just finished with that coral reef lizard grumpy bird monster who you wanted to look "high as fuck".

Lucas: Hooray! I am happy as an apple being thrown at a wolf.

Designer: What's this guy going to be called anyway?

Lucas: This "guy" is a "gal", my gentle sir. Her name is Shasha.

Designer: Shasha? Really? Not Mooptar or Bethesday or Naturd or something like that?

Lucas: Dare you question my vision? I shall give you a swat across the brow with my hand in hopes of teaching you some manners.

Designer: Your hands are so soft. (End Scene)

Shasha Tiel is an accountant.

Day 42 of 365: Leslomy Tacema

2009-03-01T18:34:00.000-08:00

Remember that huge update I promised. Well, I guess by huge I meant one. I have a severe pen shortage so the drawings for today and tomorrow are done with a .5 pen, brush pen, and remnants of my .05 pen. So less details than what you might be used to but thats the way it has to be. I personally hate using the larger gauges but I needed to get something done.

What I got done was Leslomy Tacema. Leslomy Tacema was a female Duros. She was seen on both Mos Eisley and in Jabba's Palace. Don't remember this beauty from jabba's Palace? Neither do I. Here is why:

See that lump in the back? That's Leslomy.
What this screen shot is is a testament to geeks who have way too much time on their hands so they obsessively scour backgrounds and write down who was in them. How did they know this was Leslomy and not some other Duros? Well, I have no idea. I guess I will just have to trust them and pray they never respond with one of those really informative but long winded responses as to how they know such facts that make me sad I like the same things they do.
Also, what the hell is going on in this shot? What part of the Gamorrean guard is Lando's face touching? Please let it be crotch. I mean... I have no desire to see Billy Dee Williams pleasuring a porcine humanoid while various species of aliens look on. Um, bye.

Day 41 of 365: Malakili

2009-02-22T03:33:00.000-08:00

As not to forget todays drawing, I did it right after Bossk. This drawing took me way less time and is now one of my favorites. Yes, I am biased as on some days (Doriito Sundae Mondays) I tend to resemble this humble and affectionate rancor keeper but really I like the way this turned out. I think it captures the shock that comes when a Jedi kills your monster. It is the same face I made when Kit Fisto punched my cat in the face.

Day 40 of 365: Bossk

2009-02-22T02:59:00.001-08:00

Sorry I am late. Things are not flowing well time wise and I forget where I am and that I have to draw Star Wars characters all the damn time. Here is a terrible drawing of Bossk. Bossk was a bounty hunter who hunted bounty. He was not a magician.

Day 39 of 365: Pote Snitkin

2009-02-20T15:30:00.001-08:00

Pote Snitkin is great solely because his name is Pote Snitkin.

Day 38 of 365: Salacious B Crumb

2009-02-19T05:53:00.000-08:00

For those of you who do not know (all of you I am guessing) my grandfather passed away on Tuesday. I am currently in the homeland of Indiana for the next few days, so if I miss a post you now know why. That is also why I didn't make with the funny for Bubo yesterday.

Day 37 of 365: Bubo

2009-02-18T03:47:00.000-08:00

Day 36 of 365: Exogorth (Space Slug)

2009-02-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

I am torn right now. Should I go lowbrow and make the penis jokes or should I take the high road and try something more clever? On the one hand, I do not want to take the easy way out and I know that my parents sometimes read what their strange obsessive son is up to now a days, so that's a negative for the dick jokes. On the other hand, it is early, and if you were paying attention you would know I am lazy...

Okay, I just found this:

and now I will let you make up your own penis jokes because this thing is a penis with a mouth.

Oh, for some reason I can't read the comment from yesterday. Leave it again today but preface it with something like "Not penis joke"

Day 35 of 365: Aunt Beru

2009-02-16T06:08:00.001-08:00

What? I thought it would be funny.

Day 34 of 365: Gartogg

2009-02-15T16:25:00.000-08:00

Gartogg was one of Jabba the Hutt's nine Gamorrean guards. He was stupid even for a Gamorrean and had a knack for coming across murdered corpses. In this sense he was much like Angela Lansbury in Murder She Wrote. Not the fact that Angela Lansbury's character alway stumblesd upon a murder week after week, but that Jessica Fletcher was mildly retarded.

Day 33 of 365: Leia Organa

2009-02-14T17:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines day, Nerds.

I was going to do the bikini Leia but I am far less shallow. Plus, that was not the Leia I fell in love with. This Leia, New Hope Leia, was the one I fell in love with. Strong willed, defiant, beautiful. Luke was innocent and bumbling, Han was a dick, Leia was the strength of the group.

Day 32 of 365: Reegesk

2009-02-13T10:59:00.000-08:00

This was Tim's guess and the final Cantina character from the list of all the guesses. Aside from "weird flute guy", I mean.

This is Reegesk. He is a rat man not unlike Splinter or Paris Hilton (If you did not know, Paris Hilton has a weird rat face. When you type his name into the Google search engine you get asked by Google "Did you mean: Regis?" Here is my response to google in letter form that I will never send:

Dearest Google,

No, I did not mean Regis. In fact, I will never mean Regis. I am insulted that a) You assume I am such a terrible speller that I somehow though that "Reegesk" was the phonetic way of spelling Regis and b)that you think I would be doing a search for Regis.
Google, I thought you knew me better than that.
You know I am not a 3 year old and have excellent spelling abilities, the spelling abilities of a 10 - 12 year old in fact. You also know how much I hate Regis Philbin and would never intend to type his name into you. Yes I know there is a college and a salon also named Regis, but think Google, why would I want those either? I have no intention of going to college again and I cut my own hair. You should know this because last week I typed in both "how to get out of paying student loans without going back to college" as well as "hats".
Maybe I haven't been good enough to you and this is your response to my abuse. Sure, I have searched for way too much "Elizabeth Shue nude" due to that Karate Kid fantasy no one knows about and there was that week where I was reading up all about Spider-Man's Clone Saga, and I know how much you, and by you I mean the search results that come up when you enter "Clone Saga", hate the Clone Saga. But I am flawed just like everyone else and I figured you would be able to get past this.
Maybe our time has come to part ways. I am going to experiment with Yahoo! for a bit. They don't ask if I mean "Regis". They pay attention to me.

Sincerely,
Ian

Day 31 of 365: GNK (Gonk) Power Droid

2009-02-12T00:29:00.000-08:00

What is it about a Gonk droid that makes me so happy? Does it's shape remind me of waste disposal, thus making me joyous I live in a land where I can throw out anything I want. Whether it be batteries or oil. dreams or fire, the trash is where it can be placed when one wants it to become not their problem.

Is it it's legs and the fact that this makes it clear there is a midget inside? Does this inject humanity into an otherwise cold and lifeless vessel. And at those legs are two adorable feet. I do enjoy things that are adorable.

Is it the noise? The gentle "GONK" that sound slightly aloof, yet still hopeful. Is it this that reminds me of a 7th grader at a school dance in 1995. There he is, slightly overweight, hair parted perfectly down the middle, JNCO jeans frayed at the bottom, mustering up courage to ask a girl to dance. The boy is sweating due to the crowd and feels this will make the acne stand out even more. The Boyz to Men song is nearing the halfway point and it is time to find someone not taken by the far more handsome and socially adept lads in the gym cleverly decorated to resemble an aquarium or something. There is a lady over there, she is with friends and they are coming back from the bathroom. Move now, boy! Strike before the kid who is way too tall with the giant head gets there. Yes, you are asking her. Alright, you stammered a bit and your voice cracked but that's not a total deal breaker. She said yes! And with a minute to spare! Now you don't have to stand next to that kid in the sweat pants who still thinks girls are icky. If only you can prevent a boner, you are in the clear.

GONK!

Day 30 of 365: Pons Limbic

2009-02-11T06:16:00.001-08:00

Pons Limbic, known by the nickname "Braniac" by the smuggler Boshek, was a male Siniteen who was present in Chalmun's Cantina when Luke Skywalker and Han Solo met for the first time. BoShek gave him that name because he could calculate hyperspace jumps without any help of a navigation computer. Wait, really? Because he could calculate hyperspace jumps? Not the giant brain head? Alright, whatever you say Wookiepedia. Maybe its not a brain head and Pons just had that one type of cancer. You know, super all over head cancer.

Day 29 of 365: Myo

2009-02-10T12:00:00.000-08:00

Cranked out this stylized version of Myo, the cyclops ape beard guy, in about 10 minutes. I hate the drawing. I also think I hate Myo.

Day 28 od 365: Arleil Schous

2009-02-09T11:09:00.000-08:00

I took some liberties with this one. Also, My pen nibs need replacing. Also, I am tired.

Day 27 of 365: Kabe

2009-02-08T12:10:00.000-08:00

Well, you all lost. As a consolation, I will draw every character you guessed for this upcoming week. This is not much of a consolation since you don't really get anything, but it is good for me because I don't have to think.

On to Kabe. . .

Kabe is Muftak's adopted daughter. Thats right daughter, this thing is a lady. The thing is also a drunk and would get so hammered that Muftak would have to carry her home after a night of drinking at the Cantina. So in addition to being a lady, Kabe is my kind of lady. This also makes Muftak that father who let his 15 year old drink in the basement. While it was cool at first it just became creepy as time went on. All the friends who were initially thrilled with the idea would eventually depart permanently. The father would go on to destroy his marriage and form a bond with the son based solely on alcohol. Fueled by liquor the two would try various hair brained schemes to make money and listen to the Steve Miller band on a almost constant basis. Hitting bars to pick up women was a common endeavor for the two but it never produced many results as their method of approach was filled with clumsy pick-up lines and slurred speech. Eventually the father would develop a liver disease and the son, balding and overweight at the age of 30, would have to say good-bye to the dad the only way he knew how, a bottle of whiskey and a complete lack of emotion. On his own now, the son would have nothing to do but cruise around pissing away what little inheritance he had received, eventually selling the condo in Miami for far less than it was worth. Using the condo money as a seed, the son would attempt to begin a karaoke business. He would be bankrupt in 4 months. Alone, he would spend the rest of his days crying into a bottle in the dingy motel where he hired his first prostitute years back, during what he always thought of as better days but he now realized were empty and meaningless and the foundation on which he built his mansion of sorrow.

Hey, I never said these things were supposed to be funny.

Day 26 of 365: Kardue'sai'Malloc

2009-02-07T10:58:00.000-08:00

Here is my favorite excerpt from wookiepedia on this guy:

"Malloc stayed on Tatooine, where he lived under the alias of 'Labria' to avoid bounty hunters. The term was an obscene one in Devaronese, meaning 'cold food'."

So old Cold Food here is another in my Cantina series. If you can guess who from the Cantina I am going to post tomorrow, you get to choose a character of your choice for me to draw and then I will give it to you. Hint: its not a main character, those are reserved for holidays.

Day 25 of 365: Dannik Jerriko

2009-02-06T09:24:00.000-08:00

To continue with the Cantina theme I have going this week, here is Dannik Jerriko. Here's a fun fact about Dannik: He drinks brain matter. I just found that out. All this time I viewed him as a smarmy pseudo-intellectual who sits at a bar and smokes a hookah all day while summarizing Kafka based on what the book jacket said. But no, this guy is like a zombie vampire hybrid. Hats off to you, Dannik Jerriko.

Day 24 of 365: Greedo

2009-02-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

You know what? Han didn't shoot first. Take all of those t-shirts and burn them because they are wrong. Wrong. You know why they are so wrong? Because Han did not shoot first, he was the only shooter. I guess technically the only person to do something was also the first to do it but when you kill the person who you are shooting first against, you do not really give the chance for that person to then come in second. It would be like me claiming to come in first in a eat 3 boxes of donettes while watching Cartoon Network for 9 straight hours contest. Does this make any sense? No? Well, now I am going to talk about Burger King.

In 2005 Burger King did something awesome. Then they went and did something that pissed me off. Actually, they didn't go and do it. They did it at the same time, it just took me awhile to get pissed off. First, the awesome. They released about 40 toys over the course of 6 weeks. Myself, Peter and Josh made it a quest to get all of them. This goal began immediately after this:

and this:

So, unfortunate Leia aside, you could safely say we were primed to waste a summer having Burger King poops in order to get every toy possible while also setting amazing records on Super Punch Out and not sleeping. It was a great summer.

What pissed me off came after all the toys were collected. It seems Burger King does not feel Greedo or Lando was worthy of a toy. Super Battle Droid? Sure give him one. Jimmy Smits? You got it! Watto? Yes, indeed! Greedo? No! Lando? NO!
Its not like these characters are beloved and awesome and not sucky battle droids. I was pissed to the point of expressing my anger to the lady at the counter at a BK in South Bend, IN. While I was met with only confusion, it made me feel a bit better. I then stole a Darth Vader decal from the window and ran for it, 32 oz of soda in hand.

Day 23 of 365: Wuher

2009-02-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

Whew, I made it!

As a celebration for me actually getting today's drawing done and uploaded, let us reminisce about our favorite racist bartender from a galaxy far far away, Wuher. Um. . . lets see . . . Well, he doesn't serve droids. . . and, uh. . . Ok, I'm done.

Day 22 of 365: Momaw Nadon

2009-02-03T09:37:00.000-08:00

I am super sick right now. Fever, coughing, phlegm, I have it all. What that means is I will not be able to get to a scanner tonight to scan in tomorrow's image. Hopefully I will feel better and be able to do it after work tomorrow and the post will be up by 6:30 pm. If I don't I will figure out a way to get the drawing to you, my adoring public.

Day 21 of 365: Mosep Binneed

2009-02-02T07:11:00.000-08:00

Ah, another Cantina patron. These fellows and the folks on Jabba's barge/in Jabba's palace are going to save my ass down the line.

What I am really finding amazing while doing this is that even though some of these characters appeared for just a few seconds in the films, they still have extensive back stories. Take Mosep for example. He was in the Cantina and you saw him for maybe a second in the background. Yet some how we know he is an accountant, in charge of Jabba's financial affairs, is a hard and loyal worker and has penises for fingers.

Day 20 of 365: Dengar

2009-02-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

What better way to celebrate Super Bowl Sunday then posting a picture of the most football player-like character in the Star Wars universe? Seriously, I am asking you. I have zero ideas.

Day 19 of 365: Max Rebo

2009-01-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

Maxy Rebo, fat blue elephant thing who was master of the red ball organ. He was the leader of the Max Rebo band which George Lucas super-ruined in 1997 when he made the lead singer, Sy Snootles, CG and then paired her up with the worst character in Star Wars history, Rappertunie. Luckily Max stayed in puppet form but pairing a character made up of silk backpacks with a bunch of crappy CG characters makes the puppet look more like a puppet and the CG look more like over the top garbage.

If you do not remember this "scene rape" then I encourage you to watch it again. While watching it, try not to be embarrassed by what you are watching. Guess what? You can't. Seriously, watching the "special edition" gave me the same kind of uncomfortable feeling I got when I was 14 and I watched Clerks and my mother came into the room during a part where the dialogue focused mainly on blow jobs.